As my 29th birthday approaches (Friday... Aw, go on then, I'd really like a VW camper... any colour... ) I feel like I'm the only one who is unaffected by this perceived 'milestone'. No, it's not all downhill from here. No, I don't feel broody or in any way inclined to get (re)married, grow up and have kids. No, I don't think about the 'future', getting a 'real' job (who, pray tell, would bring all of you with such a thing your business lunches in Dunmow?), pensions or how to get a mortgage and thus secure (ha!) some sort of... I don't even know what... Seriously, I can think of nothing worse than to give up all of my dreams, hopes and aspirations for some sort of societal norm and its associated idea of 'acceptance'. Credence to anyone who makes such a sacrifice, to me it seems more challenging than the priesthood but, each to their own....
A few things, personal challenges if you like, that I intend to achieve this year, in no particular order, are; return to Barcelona (party, party), attend a Buddhist meditation course (the crazy fuckers accepted me despite my unabashed honesty on the application form and I am now faced with ten days COMPLETE silence and super simple living.... I shall be accepting sponsorship closer to the time and donating anything raised (let's be honest, it's worth a punt...) to the centre), learn to fix aforementioned VW camper vans, get my music onto some sort of bootleg-able format (Big Tom, you're up....), remain patient and focused on the Dubai-Asia-South America plan (or the Universe's version of the same), make a video for 'The Aleph' and submit it in time, go to Glastonbury (with my Nan!!!!) and walk (or, should the van appear, drive) to Compostela all by myself.
These and about 500 other things... but these are the most important. So, in the light of this, rather jumbled but nonetheless very time-consuming, list I really feel that my life is a) far too busy to be thinking about 2nd husbands and all that jazz and b) not at all conducive to such things. I also really feel that I have so little time on this Earth (yes, thanks, you who shall remain anonymous, it is now even closer to its end...well, in your opinion... I'm with the Buddhists and re-incarnation. Or the Sumerians and off to Niburu for 3,600 years after this lifetime) I'd really like to spend it doing all the things I want, for me. Feeding the soul, learning, experiencing.... And it's enough of a job looking after myself half the time, never mind anyone else....
One other point is, there are so many wonderful people in my wee world just now, never mind the whole world at large (you should all know who you are.... If not, have faith) that the idea of locking myself (figuratively speaking) in a box, with one person (and 2.4 children and "a fucking big television"), forever and ever amen makes eating mushrooms and being adorned with tarantulas seem appealing. I just don't think I have it in me. So, pity away from your higher social status'... who knows, you may all be onto something. But I've always been one for a long-shot and I'm happy to say that no, I won't be calming down, chilling out or getting 'real' just because I'm pushing 30. I'm gonna get my van, travel the world and keep dating guys under 25. So there. (Hope the paragraphs helped, Manu ya old bastard!!)
Peace and Love.
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