The labyrinth that is life....

Ok, funny how I had so many ideas, so many opinions, so much shit to get off my chest and now, I don't know where to start...! In part, this is due to the fact that I have a lot more research to do in some areas and partly because, you don't really know where you're going until you start the journey. So, day-by-day, as I have come to view and live my life, poco-a-poco, is how I shall continue here....

A sort of 'Sasha's random thoughts and inspirations....'

I was talking recently (for a change) about how the movies you grow up watching seem to play out in your life. The ones you feel a particular resonance with... Your favourites. I don't know how many of my friends are going to suddenly delete me for my random Hippy-esque ramblings and frankly, I don't give a fuck, but it's something to think about nonetheless....

My three favourite films of all time are Labyrinth, ET and Watership Down (which, now, is quite terrifying...). 

Ok, so, yes, I am fascinated by the Labyrinth symbology in the world as a whole and could ramble on for ages... But I shall refrain. Look it up if you're interested. It's fascinating. And I can supply hundreds of references. This is meant to be a personal account, a making-sense-of-my-life and sharing with the people I love and care about. Which, actually, is all of humanity but we'll aim a little lower than that to start with...

Barcelona was like my labyrinth, not only in its physical manifestation (Gotico, anyone? After a few too many tequilas....) but in all that it came to represent.  I LOVE Barcelona, don't get me wrong, but in loving barcelona, I lost myself and lost my path... Distracted by the many fun and crazy characters I met along the way, endless parties (And I mean endless, I'm pretty sure the last one's still going on 5 weeks later...) and the beauty of the world in which I'd enveloped myself, I forgot that I went there with a purpose, that I'd been looking for something. In short, I had to burst the bubble and escape my very own Goblin King. (No Peter, it wasn't you....)

Without going on too much, which is difficult for me, I wanted to learn Spanish and I had an unidentified 'urge' to go to Barcelona so, off I went. (Well, off we went but that's another story). In my car (which promptly got towed away) to Catalonia, where they don't speak Spanish but Catalan. Good start. Two years later, Castillano in the bag (I like to think, though the laughter I still manage to rouse from my Spaniard pals is testament to the fact that the acquisition and mastery of a language is an ongoing process...) I began to feel frustrated, angry and lost.  I was numbing my emotions with home-made (thanks Lads, beware the helicopters) concoctions in an attempt to escape the reality which I had created for myself.

It took a lot of soul searching and the appearance of my first, acknowledged, guardian angel (Argentina, I love you) to realise that the demons of my past had to be met, confronted and left behind. And that I couldn't do that by running away to Morocco, but had to do the thing which terrified me most and return to Britain. England, for fuck's sake.... Now, at the centre of my labyrinth, I have faced the Goblin King (more on him another time... Actually, her....maybe) and am ready to emerge from the darkness and start anew....

"Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the goblin city to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, my Kingdom as great... You have no power over me..... "

I'm gonna leave the other two for now as I feel this has gone on long enough... !! Watership Down relates to our (fucked-up, forgotten) relationship with nature and ET, obviously, to our relationship with the Universe as a whole... So, be prepared.

Also, before I go, when you know what you want, what you really, really want (Big up the Spice Girls...) the Universe has a strange and amazing ability to provide all that your heart desires. Paulo Coelho's got nothing on me... Just yesterday (and this is by no means the only such thing to have happened to me recently) I was talking about needing to find somewhere to go (horse)riding around here (South East England). I asked a few people, all of whom assured me they were 'not horsey types' (thank God) but, as such, had no idea. Today, on a detour to get some mint (they didn't have any but I am soon to be the proud grower/cultivator of runner beans) I came across a notice at the garden centre, asking for help with a 13h  (small) pony. Thinking it was (probably) going to be some 14 year old rich kid who'd got bored with her new toy, I went along to meet her feeling slightly apprehensive and quite prepared to be laughed out of the yard (I too, am no 'horsey type', although, strangely, this breed of elite only exists in the UK). Imagine my surprise (I LOVE that phrase, good for angry letter-writing) when I was greeted by the most down-to-Earth, non-snobby lady surrounded by her four snotty-nosed kids (by no means a slight, I love snotty-nosed kids) thigh deep in horse shit. Well, you may be horrified, but I was overjoyed. This woman is AMAZING. She rescues maltreated horses, just for the love of it. And she needs someone to help her exercise all 5 of them because she works every day in order to pay for them and she has 4 children under 6. Her husband is at home bringing up the kids and mucks in (or out, as the case most definitely is) by doing the feeds and other maintenance stuff (he built the stables in a big old barn) as he doesn't ride and has no intention of learning. As a couple, they never have meals out (too expensive) or 5 minutes for themselves (4 children) so now, not only do they have a horse-exerciser, they also have a very willing (and free) babysitter. I don't know what people make of stuff like this, but I think it's awesome. I fucking love the Universe and its strange ways of bringing the right people together at just the right time.
Peace and Love.