Pesky pescatrianism.

I could win prizes for my fussy eating- none of this faddy dieting to lose two stone in a week shit (though I recommend the barcelona diet to anyone on that buzz...) but genuine fussiness. Like a kid. Mostly, it's a texture issue and I often say "I don't like chewy stuff" (things you have to chew for so long your jaw starts to ache, like meat) but this isn't strictly true as I love Glasgow rolls and they are possibly the chewiest thing on Earth. And mushrooms, which I fear more than spiders (more so now I've seen how they can mummify insects from the inside out and then sprout a mushroom out through their brains....All the evidence I need that I was on to something with all this Funghi-avoidance a long time ago...) are not so much "chewy" as "squidgy" but then so too is smoked cheese and prawns and scallops and I quite like those things. Which brings me, kind of, to today's pondering. I have been feeling two things today with regards to yesterdays trip to the shed (and more generally in recent weeks) and the first is that it was a tasty treat and the second is, and this, as I say, has been niggling me for a while now.... guilt. Now, I don't think I know many vegetarians and this isn't any sort of 'everyone stop eating meat and save the cows...' chat, it's just a personal thing that goes back into my childhood. So, yes, anyway... I do feel really bad. And though my love affair with seafood is a fairly new (yet still spectacularly difficult)  relationship, I have oft wondered whether it's actually worth it. Generally I like (cooked ie. hot) white fish (though salmon is ok, sometimes), prawns (not so much the little ones, just the big ones...), lobster and fishfingers and at times, like when I've eaten scallops and clams, I have been even braver in my sea critter eating (yesterday I tried a razor clam. Rank). However, every time I eat seafood I do feel incredibly guilty. You see, it's the way we treat the animals that we eat that irks me (not just the fish, but fish are the only animals I eat....)- the fact that we take far more than we'll ever need and that we do it as if it's our God-given right. But I don't believe in God. And I don't believe it's our right. Without getting into the ethics of it all and sounding like a bible-basher, of sorts, I shall suffice to say that, at the very least, we should all take a bit more responsibility for the animals with whom we share our planet. And, if their days are numbered (or their flanks as I saw on a field full of wee lambs the other day (I refrained from sobbing. Just)) then we should at least treat them well and respect the huge favour they're doing us. Jesus gave his life (allegedly) and look at the bloody recognition he gets for God's sake...  Ok, I understand that this may (does) seem OTT to all of you, but eating fish was a big thing for me a few years ago and is something I've battled with internally... (As ridiculous as I know that sounds, because I've just read it back). Anyways, I shall leave it there. I'm off to watch Finding Nemo. Respect. Peace and Love.